Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
