basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
