Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
