Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
