I cockslap morals
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
