Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I am naked and annoyed.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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