I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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