I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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