Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
