VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
