It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She's the barista slut.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
