Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
