someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
