Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize