The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Randomize
