True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Fuck appropriateness.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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