omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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