yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
