dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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