In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
