drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
