6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
