absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
