the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just puked most of my soul out..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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