Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
