theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
