no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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