At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
