its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
