he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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