I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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