3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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