Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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