super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
