did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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