Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
