Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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