I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
