Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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