just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
