Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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