the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
