hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
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