Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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