Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
