I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
