...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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