I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
