a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
