Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
