"it" just moved
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Randomize
