dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
