So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
