If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
