i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
