is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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