people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
