Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm passing your future prison.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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