haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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