Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
