I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
