my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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