so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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