mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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