yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize