Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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