You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's never too late to be topless.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
