i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
