Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
