I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
