I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
