I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
