Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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