i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Terrible idea I love it
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize