he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize