You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
