It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I had to cum in my sink.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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