I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
