Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize